01 / 01 / 2016
Happy New Year! It’s 2016 and I’ve been swarmed by a tidal wave of thoughts as to what the hell I am going to do with myself in the next few years – especially since I now have a baby (actually, make that two if you count this blog!). I honestly feel that I have entered a new era of my Life, and that is the biggest breath of fresh air and the tallest glass of water you could ever imagine! Thank god ’15 is over!
You probably don’t know but, last year was a shit show for me, to say the least – really it was the climax of years prior. SO MUCH HAPPENED. I’ve always considered myself as dealing well with change and even quite liking it, but after an entire series of crap years even the most adaptable person gets worn down.
Along with the obvious highlights of bringing my sweet, little Nailah into the world, reconnecting with my mom, being able to have a job that allowed me to save money and finally getting braces – there has been some crazy stuff that has happened.
The year started with an emergency operation on my appendix while 5-months pregnant, my daughter’s father disappeared from our lives, his new girlfriend harassed me while I was pregnant at our workplace (yes, I had to work with her – AND him, although we had no interaction with each other), and as the year has ended, my home community is going through political turmoil, of which my family is the center of. I’ve been learning to live life without the foundations I used to have.
So much has been stripped away, things I thought I would always have – and yet so many beautiful things have been added to replace them. I feel like a new person headed in an entirely new direction. My focuses have completely shifted. I no longer look for love to come into my life and give me a sense of fulfillment. I am a new mother and I’ve become miles closer to discovering my truest dreams, funnily enough, by reconnecting to the dreams I had as a child. Simply put, I have stopped waiting for Life to happen to me – I am now making Life happen for me.
And so here I am. Writing to the one or two people who will stumble across this blog.
Since entering the blogosphere, I’ve been thinking about what kind of blogger I want to be, changing and revising my ideas on it almost daily. At the end of it, I know I want to be someone who shares her Life and her experiences and extends friendship to everyone who visits her site – the blogger you can feel is your friend and can turn to anytime (and I am always open to receiving emails from anyone :)) I want to connect with people – this is what I live for.
This is not to say I won’t ever write about make up, clothing, style and other things – because I will! I will write about things that I love and want to share with the rest of the world! But it won’t because I want people to buy more things, it’s because I have loved these things since I was a 15-year-old girl.
And as of now – I can say I am going through a crisis. As I become more enlightened with the truth of the world I live in, the more I don’t know how good of a job I am navigating it. It’s the same feeling you get when you are doing a complete overhaul of your room or house – you know how things get more messy before it gets cleaner? It’s like that.
I’ve been cooking more vegan meals, yet haven’t totally cut out meat or animal byproducts (although I do feel the guilt of it every single time) and I am aware of the need to buy more ethically and live more cleaner. But I suppose doing an overhaul takes time, doesn’t it?
And as I write, I feel how the dreams I hold within me start to vibrate and become alive with colour in my mind’s eye. I don’t know how 2016 or 2017 will shape up, but it will be interesting to see how it does! I just hope and pray that the things I dream of run to me as I run towards them
I wish you the best always and offer you warmth anytime you need it <3
Again, HAPPY FRIGGEN NEW YEAR! xx